“Why do you waste your time writing? Don’t you have MORE important things to do?” He had put emphasis on more.
“What a rather insensitive question”, I thought. Truth be told, I almost threw a fit. I am surprised he had the temerity to ask, that he sees writing as a good-for-nothing avocation, a flavor of the month, a thorn in the bush. Not wanting to start a fight and put our relationship in jeopardy, I composed myself and waited a few minutes before I give him my answer.
“I write to keep my sanity at bay,” I responded plainly. I initially thought of stopping here since people only understand from their level of perception, but to do so will not render justice to writing. I had to present corroborating “evidences”.
So to you sir:
I write because it is something I am good at. And as people like you often find yourselves lost in flashbacks and extended metaphors for interminable hours, I could easily write a review of the most intricate American novel. And maybe it isn’t the best, but who cares?
I write because it allows me to see things in a different light, to see things beyond the superficial— the dark blue sky as it slowly gets painted with the faintest tinge of orange and yellow, the stillness of the world at dawn, the humming of the little birds as they sing a song ever so lovely, or the fragrance of a blooming flower on a Sunday morning.
I write because it excites my senses, it makes me feel alive. That after an exhausting chaotic day, I get to be human again. It gives me an opportunity to pause for awhile and unload my pent up frustrations over things that refuse to go my way.
I write because it takes me to all sorts of places that exist only in the minds of those who wander. Sadly though, those are the places you will never land.
I write because just a like somber prisoner imprisoned in a sunless, forgotten oubliette, writing frees me from the prison that is my own anger and resentment.
Lastly, I write for the sheer beauty of it.
And so what if the only thing I get out of this is a one-bedroom wooden house with a thatched roof made of palm frond? Still I know I’d be happy.
And so what if I don’t get anything at all? Still I know I’d be happy.
And maybe writing will not earn me a place in heaven, but at least I know that even if I die, I will remain,
To all my friends who might be reading this, if you read this past 9AM, please don’t bother calling me or texting me. I might be asleep pa e. I finished this article past 4AM na. I really to get a life na, ‘no? Sheez! And just in case you ask, I am not trading my steth for a virtual pen. Contrary to the popular belief, you are allowed to love two things or more at once. Hahaha. And oh, did I mention that this conversation took place in my mind only? Yup, it did.
Note: I will proofread this later. It’s already past 8AM, and I’ve been awake all night. I’m tired na. Let me sleep in bliss. Engkyu!
I did it again.
I practically slept the whole day (again). Now I’m starting to think, that if there ever was a competition for people who can sleep the most — then without a doubt — I will emerge as the overall victor. AWUUU!!! AWUUU!!!
2011. Summer. Everyone was off doing their own thing: galavanting around the globe, reading thick school books, filling in their boss’s daily dose of coffee, you name it. I, on the other hand, was embedded under the warm and fuzzy blanket. (See, I told you. I’m a professional sleeper.)
It must be said though, that even if I had slept the whole day, I had a productive a night. A not-so-rare occurrence for a night owl like I am.
Now why productive when all I did was sleep the whole day, you ask? Well, let me give you a quick rundown as to why:
I read articles
Yes, you read it right. I read articles— fifteen notoriously long articles to be specific (no kidding). I thought I’d never voice out my opinion re: the Cirque du Freak that is the Philippines Government on this blog, but I can’t help it. Everything is so chaotic, and I can’t find the right words to express my utter disgust to the bureaucracy and to every political prostitutes and opportunists of this country. And at the rate things are going, I only have this to say, “To hell with them all.”
I blogged a bit
After writing the uber-long medical article last night, I told myself that it’s okay if I skip a day or two from writing. But then I found out that I’m running low on caffeine, and it simply wouldn’t suffice for the days to come. And my brain refuses to function without it. Meaning: no caffeine, no blog.
And so, I figured I should keep writing while supplies last.
I learned a few words
My friends know that I am a logophile. In fact, I have a little notebook at home where I write down words, phrases and sentences that appeal to me. Words are like collection for me. The more I know, the happier I get.
Today I learned quite a few interesting ones, but that should be tomorrow’s blog post.
To all the ladies who might be reading this right now: Happy International Women’s day!
I wish you all genuine laughter and the chance to let it ring loud and splendid;
I wish you all moments that shall take your breath away; and
I wish you all lots and lots coffees without side effects.
With that said, I now leave you with a quote from none other than the Iron Lady of Asia,
“This is goodbye. I shall not importune you any longer. I shall now fade into the night like Batman.” (M. Santiago, 2016)
A few days days ago, I published six articles that are medically irrelevant. Now allow me to transition to the scientific aspect of this blog. But before we begin, I shall say, that I am not a know-it-all. I am a nobody who happens to have a fondness for teaching — even with the little I know.
On that note, let’s begin! *enter the propeysyunal me*
Whether you are a pre-medical or a medical student, chances are, you have already read of the obscure role of the supraspinatus muscle in terms of shoulder function. Let I, Doktora Undone, shed some light on the topic that raised a thousand eyebrows.
Let’s begin by defining the suprasinatus muscle:
The supraspinatus (plural supraspinati, from Latin supraspinatus) is a relatively small muscle of the upper back that runs from the supraspinatous fossa superior portion of the scapula (shoulder blade) to the greater tubercle of the humerus. It is one of the four rotator cuff muscles and also abducts the arm at the shoulder. The spine of the scapula separates the supraspinatus muscle from the infraspinatus muscle, which originates below the spine. 
Malabo ba, ‘teh? Basta ang sinasabi lang sa taas e ‘yung anatomical description ni supra. Now, let’s cut the chase and get down to business: what then is its REAL function?
CLARIFICATION ON THE ROLE OF SUPRASPINATUS IN SHOULDER FUNCTION
It is for a fact that professors base their lectures using different references, thus resulting to varying information. Personally, I can no longer put a finger on how much I have sat and listened to contrasting lectures re: its function— which is why I had to make this article in the first place. Some said it acts as an initiator for shoulder abduction, while others have said that is synergistic with deltoid. Perplexed as I was, I did a little digging which led to my discovery of several Easter eggs. The references are as follows:
BRUNNSTROM, 6th Ed: Initiator (pg. 197)
“In normal abduction, the supraspinatus initiates motion. However, in the persons with supraspinatus paralysis or debilitating injury, the deltoid is able to abduct the humerus throughout the range of motion if the other other functioning rotator cuff muscles are able to counteract the deltoid’s translatory force. Even though deltoid-only abduction occurs, it is produced with less than normal strength.”
To better explain the description above, I will be writing in my native language.
Kung ang pinag-uusapan ay normal shoulder abduction, si supraspinatus muscle po ay INITIATOR.
Pero kung PARALISADO si supra, magte-take over si DELTOID bilang shoulder abductor sa buong ROM (0-180°).
Ngunit ‘yun po ay mangyayari lamang kung NORMAL o walang diperensiya ang iba pang bahagi ng rotator cuff muscles. Ibig sabihin ay okay ang ITS muscles. (see note below on point #3)
At kahit posible ang deltoid-only abduction, MAS MAHINA ito kumpara sa kung okay o wala diperensiya ang supraspinatus.
On point #3: Ang pinag-uusapan po dito ay ‘yung tinatawag na translatory forces. Mahaba pong diskusyon ito. Kailangan mong aralin ‘yung translatory forces ng SITS muscles (supraspinatus, infraspinatus, teres minor at subscapularis) para maintindihan mo kung bakit kinakailangang normal ang mga ito para mangyari ang deltoid-only abduction. Gets pa ba? Text niyo ako kapag hindi na ah.
Susubukan kong i-explain ito in details sa ibang blog post. Pero kung gusto mo nang palitan si Jollibee sa pagiging bida e mabuti pang aralin mo na si Norkins, 5th ed., pg 263. Ayan na ha. Binigay ko na ‘yung page. Magbabasa ka nalang.
NORKIN, 5th Ed: Initiator (pg. 263)
“The supraspinatus muscle is considered an abductor of the humerus. Like the deltoid muscle, it functions in all planes of elevation of the humerus. Its role, according to MacConaill and Basmajian, is quantitative rather than specialized. The pattern of activity of the supraspinatus is essentially the same as that found in the deltoid. The moment arm of supraspinatus is fairly constant throughout the ROM and is larger than that of the deltoid for the first 60° of shoulder abduction. When the deltoid is paralyzed, the supraspinatus alone can bring the arm through most, if not all, of the glenohumeral range, but the motion will be weaker.”
Ha?! Ano daw?!
Ang dami niyang sinabi pero ang tinutumbok niya talaga e INITIATOR pa rin ang function ni supraspinatus muscle.
Opposite scenario naman ang binigay niya dito. Imbis na supraspinatus ang paralisado (katulad nang ibinigay ni Brunnstrom sa taas), si deltoid naman ang paralisado dito. Essentially, ang sinasabi niya e kaya ring mag-abduct ni supraspinatus sa buong SH ABD ROM if deltoid is paralyze, pero WEAK lang din.
May kinaliman pa rin sa translatory forces dito. Explain ko sa ibang post pag sinipag ako.
SNELL, 9th Ed: Initiator (pg. 360)
To sum it up, Snell basically said supraspinatus acts as initiator. In case of its paralysis, shoulder abduction is still possible provided that the arm be assisted in the first 15° of abduction. Thereafter, the deltoid takes over to a right angle, or simply 90° abduction.
Now, here lies the problem: both Brunnstrom and Norkin said that deltoid can take over as the shoulder abductor in case of supraspinatus paralysis. But here comes Snell saying that deltoid can take over up until 90° of shoulder abduction ONLY.
‘Yung totoo?! Anong problema niyong tatlo?! Suntukan nalang kaya tayo?!
The answer lies in the study of translatory forces of the rotator cuff muscles. Yet again. I will discuss this should my schedule allow. Tuuhhhrayyy.
At this point, you should now be seeing it as an integrated function of the shoulder complex. In other words, you have to “look at the forest and not just the trees.”
Did I make myself clear? Well, at least I hope, I did.
Now most professors will stop after giving you these references, but since I’m not like the others, I’ll give you more… for free.
This part is where it gets exciting as I will be challenging everything you think you know.
GRAY’S ANATOMY, 40th Ed: Synergistic with Deltoid
“The conventional view is that supraspinatus initiates abduction of the shoulder and assists deltoid in abduction thereafter. However, there is evidence that both supraspinatus and deltoid are involved throughout the range of abduction, including initiation of the movement. As part of the rotator cuff, supraspinatus helps to stabilize the head of the humerus in the glenoid fossa during movements of the glenohumeral joint. With the arm dependent, even when moderately loaded, supraspinatus and tension in the upper capsule prevent downward displacement of the humerus.”
Una sa lahat, walang akong page number na binigay sa taas kasi Vishal ang version ng Gray’s Anatomy na meron ako. Baka may pdf version kayo. Pahingi naman. Pretty please?
Anyway, ang sabi ng kapitbahay na si Gray ay synergistic daw si supra with the deltoid. Ibig sabihin, si supraspinatus ay hindi nag-tatrabahong mag-isa bilang isang shoulder abduction initiator. Nag-tutulungan silang parehas ni deltoid throughout the entire motion. Gets pa ba?
LIPPERT, 5th Ed: Synergistic with Deltoid (pg. 138)
Supraspinatus is active throughout abduction. Still synergistic with deltoid. Self-explanatory.
Kung PT ka at reviewee ka dati sa Gold Rank, eto po ‘yung reference na ginamit ni sir ken– yung nagturo mismo ng UE ortho conditions. He didn’t mention it though, but I figured since he used the exact same words.
GOOGLE SCHOLAR: Synergistic with Deltoid
It is imperative to note however, that the research above had been published way back 1986, meaning it could be obsolete nowadays.Why did I use such old research, you ask? This is because I failed to find anything that’s more recent than this. The rest are dated 1940s.
With that said, let us now recap everything that’s been written here so far:
Brunnstrom, 6th Ed: Initiator (pg. 197)
Norkin, 5th Ed: Initiator (pg. 263)
Snell, 9th Ed: Initiator (pg. 360)
Gray’s Anatomy, 40th Ed: Synergistic with Deltoid
Lippert, 5th Ed: Synergistic with Deltoid (pg. 138)
Google Scholar, 1986: Synergistic with Deltoid
There you go. That’s a three on three.
Now, who has the monopoly to truth? I will leave you with the analysis.
Wouldn’t it be nice if I actually had this header image on my page? I would do that except that I don’t know how. I officially regret cheating my way through those computer lab classes I had in high school. (Ma’am Ebueng, if this post ever finds you, I’m really, really sorry. It’s not just me, you know. I shall give you all the names, should you insist. Just please, please, don’t take back my grades in COMP1.)
It’s frustrating to I think that five days had gone by, and I’m still clueless as to how this whole HTML thing actually works. I don’t know if I had been slacking off or just mere stupid. But more than that, I think, it was my zero tolerance for things that were not my cup of tea. I am a Science degree holder after all.
In the meantime, just please imagine that the image above is set as this blog’s header image, and up to your liking.
And oh, do you remember the part where I said y’all should give me weeks to figure this out? Can I take back my words? If so, please make that an eternity.
PS. Hi guys! Please comment down below so I’ll know that there are actual people dropping by. Thank you!
Last night while trying to squeeze in a few HTML coding tutorials to my already saturated brain, I noticed that my father, who was MIA for two days, had put a seemingly full white plastic bag inside our dilapidated fridge. Being a curious cat as I was, I headed straight to the fridge and then voila! It turned out to be a bag full of sweets! What’s even more invigorating was that my siblings were nowhere to be found! That only meant one thing: If they didn’t see it, then it was never there to begin with — hence, it’s all mine! Hahaha how lucky can I get?
After an hour or so, I ended up eating a box of Meiji Almonds and half a cup of Acecook noodles. I enjoyed it eventhough I’m not really big on anything that’s too sweet. I initially planned on not sharing it to anyone but since I’m mabait (talaga naman hahaha), I gave the rest to ’em all… okay fine. Some, but not all. I still have a few hidden under my bed.
Due to the lack of better things to do, I decided that I should read back on Kemper’s Write Source that I bought some two years ago. I guess this will keep me company for the days to come.
So the last post was about ME being six feet under the whirlpool of uncertainties. Turns out, it’s just lady hormones — y’all know how it can be. Hahaha. 😂
Anyway, I’m running out of stories to tell since I’ve been practically at home for almost a year now — sleeping in and waking up late, sipping black coffee in between movies and pages, and trying hard to squeeze in work outs day by day — in an attempt to lessen my guilt. Like really, what decent stories can you get from staying at home 24hrs/day, 7days a week, 12mos a year? See? I am living the ultimate bum life. Not that I’m complaining though. I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed slacking as much I do now. I tell myself I deserve this, but oh boy, it’s not as easy as it sounds.
Needless to say, I still have several things in my mind at the moment:
Read more books, researches and articles. Add a few more words into my non-existent vocabulary bank. (I love words eh.)
Continue learning the ins and outs of WordPress. (Kahit alam ko namang hopeless talaga.)
Get shreded for my brother’s wedding this July. (Ah, I can’t believe my brother is getting hitched! Last time I remember we were getting our daily dose of spanking, courtesy of our dad, for skipping siesta. Has it really been that long? And me?! A bride’s maid?! I need to get sexy na talaga, ‘no?)
Study for the incoming NMAT and PTLE. (I really need to get this on top of my priority list.)
Do a medical school tour for blog purposes. (I’ve been thinking about this for quite awhile, but I can’t afford it. I don’t have baon na. Sheez.)
Prepare for med in all aspects — meaning mentally, emotionally, physically… lahat ng may -ly sa dulo! (I was told that I needed to think long and hard before wanting to go to med school. Because hello! The finances are no joke! Med is not for the poor yahknow — unless you’re a flat-uno GPA prodigy, which I am not. I contemplated and decided I will still push through it. Patay kung patay.)
Be a better person than I was yesterday. (The ME had a very unproductive yesterday, feeling mortified over the much-publicized #DavaoLeaks. I was close to smashing our TV.)
I have a lot of pending tasks, but instead of doing those, I started typing this. I pratically slept the whole day (again) and I think I suffer from I-miss-school syndrome. I never knew it’s possible to actually miss stress, to miss the times I hardly get two-hour of sleep, the times I felt like an ugly duckling because too much stress had been building up; the times I wished to get hit by a bus to get it all over with; the times I had forgotten to eat because I have been cramming for an exam, or the times I cried buckets over my dreadful thesis.
Oh, I guess I just miss school. Sana talaga pwedeng mag-aral nalang forever tapos may sweldo. Ay naku! Much have been said about my (enjoyable) bum life. So I will just leave you with an excerpt of what I wrote two or three years ago:
“Why do we want people we can’t have?” — a question that’s been out in the open since time immemorial. But just like a scientific query that has bewildered many, I wonder if there will ever be an answer to this perpetual question.”
Hayst. I don’t know what I did so wrong that I ended up on the losing end of things. If only life came with a handbook.
PS. Sa mga magtatanong po, hindi po ako buntis at wala po akong balak any time soon. Case closed.
Do you still remember the days when the 9-year old you would dream such BIG dreams that any adult would be quick to dismiss as delusions of grandeur? I sure do.
Though a kid, I already knew what I wanted to become when I grow up— an O.R. nurse. All those times I get asked about my dream career, the answer had always been a nurse. I had a crystal clear picture in my mind that I will be working for the same hospital my mom did, wearing cool scrubs, while teetering at the halls of the hospital in my divisoria-bought fake crocs. You see, I grew up in the four corners of a hospital. Hence, the thought of working elsewhere never really crossed my mind. For me, it’s the hospital or none at all. Though I admit there might be instances where I’d flirt with the idea of someday becoming a president of the Philippines (see delusions of grandeur). However, I never gave it much thought. After all, it was a dream made to feed the imagination of a 9-year old dweeb. Ain’t it fun to have people call you, “Madam president”?
Fast forward 12 years after, I did not become a nurse nor a president of the republic (age-wise, I still don’t qualify), and I wanted to be elsewhere. I did, however, become a physical therapist and a soon-to-be med student. But if you ask me what I will be if I was not a med student, I’ll most likely be a writer.
I remember the time I had a heart-to-heart talk with a former batchmate whom I share the same boat with. Our conversation went something like this:
“Nakakagulat, ‘no? Kung sino pa ‘yung nagta-top nu’ng college, tayo pa ‘yung walang direksyon ngayon. Di mo talaga alam mangyayare. Well.” (She is one of the top students in my college, btw.)
“Exactly. Ganito din nangyari kila ****** , ‘di ba?” (I mentioned a name of another top student in our college.)
“Oo. Di mo pa nage-gets dati pero ngayon tayo na nasa position nila. Nakaka-depress, ‘no? Parang lahat ng nakapaligid sayo may work na, PTRP na, ikaw hindi mo alam kung magiging ano ka.” (This part hit me for realzz. Hayst. I didn’t know life would be this cruel.)
“Nag-dorm pa kaya ako nu’n! Tapos akala ko nu’ng on top of my game ako — nagta-top sa quizzes, exams, tapos December, wala na. Ikaw din, di ba nagta-top ka nu’n!” (I feel you!)
“Baka may iba talagang plano si Lord satin.”
It’s been a year since I graduated. It’s also been a year since I became officially jobless. Hay, buhay. Parang life. While my batchmates are busy climbing the ladder of their corporate success, I, on the other hand, is six feet under the whirlpool of uncertainties. You might wonder why, but that warrants another blog post. All this time I thought of saving enough money to buy my parents all the luxuries in life that they deserve. Not that they require or obliged me to, or that they can’t afford it themselves. It is my way of giving back and saying thank you from all the tedious years they spent trying to raise my siblings and I. But, I guess it won’t happen anytime soon. I guess it will take longer than expected. But I will see to it that it will… one day.
When life gets the best of you, what then?
My apologies for the lack of enthuthiasm in this blog post, I’ve just been really sad today. I am sad. I am frustrated. Or maybe, it’s just lady hormones. It’s that time of the year, you know.
PS. If any of my high school friends is reading this, my apologies for the times I’ve been MIA in our batch reunions. I’m jobless and I can’t afford to pay the bills.